Future

The Future is Insecure

Column
By: Anonymous

No trouble at work, no bad grades at school, no issues with friends. I suppose we’ve all experienced this at some point. Life seems to be going your way. I hate to be the one to break it to you – but it’s a matter of time until something goes wrong.

Let me explain why this column started off so bleak.
Last week, on a gloomy Sunday, an incident occurred. Just a month ago, I had moved out of my parent’s home, so I wasn’t there when it happened. I received a message from my dad. ‘Your mother had to go the hospital’. Obviously I rushed to the hospital. I hadn’t heard a lot of details, my heart was racing and my mind came up with dozens of theories. What happened?

A brain tumour. During my trip to the hospital, which felt like it took hours, multiple doctors ran series of tests. And they all came back with the same result. There was a poisonous object in my mum’s head. After hearing the news, every member of the family had the most horrid feeling.  For a moment I felt like the ground beneath me disappeared – I was swept off my feet. How was this possible? Will she get better? How long will this all take? Will she survive? How will I survive without my mother? All I could do is cry, and that’s all I have been able to do ever since. She needs to be a part of my future.

These past few days I’ve been trying to write about what I’ve felt. It has mainly been fear. Fear to lose my mum due to this nasty disease. I can see my mum feel that fear too. Her fate is not in our own hands.

My grandmothers and grandfathers are all gone. I have known some people whom have had similar illnesses. These people, they were looking at a personal expiration date, and all of a sudden they felt the urge to focus on the things that really matter to them in life.
Shouldn’t we also do this? It’s cliché, yes, but I can tell you first-hand that we should be honest to ourselves and to others. We should spread love and receive love. Is it not strange, that we are scared to show the things that mean the most to us in our daily life? Why should we wait till it is almost too late?

After a few conversations with the doctors we expect that the tumour will be treatable. The doctors are still not sure how, but the thoughts that there is hope gives my mum, my family and I the power to fight. We do not know what the future will bring us, regrettably. Although it is frustrating that we do not know what is coming, it might be best so simply accept it. When we have a clear vision of the future, we cannot enjoy life anymore. The only thing we can do is keep faith and dream about how we want our future to look like.

We will fight, fight right until we win this game. Hopefully, we will make our future exciting once again.

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